The Authenticity Rules 

1) Truth over frequency

If you can’t say it truthfully, don’t say it.  Replace praise with support (“What would help you succeed?”) or coaching (“Here’s the standard and how to hit it.”).

2) Specific beats enthusiastic

Authentic praise is usually calm and exact, not loud.

3) Match the volume to the moment

Small win → small recognition.  Big lift → bigger recognition.  People trust leaders who calibrate.

4) Praise cleanly

No “praise sandwich.” Recognition stands alone.  Feedback happens in a separate moment.

5) Recognize behaviors you want repeated

Outcomes can be luck; behaviors are repeatable.

The 10‑Second Authenticity Filter (Use Before You Speak)

If you can’t answer “yes” to at least two, don’t praise yet—go observe more.

• Can I name the exact behavior?
• Can I name the Impact (who/what it helped)?
• Would I say this privately with no audience?
• Is this in my natural voice (not corporate-speak)?

Your Weekly Target (Realistic + Authentic)

Goal: Ensure each person is noticed within 7 days.
How: 3–5 recognition moments per week (depending on team size) + a quick roster check.
This avoids fake “everyone gets a trophy” praise while preventing invisibility.

Day‑By‑Day Plan (Repeat Weekly)

Day 1 — Monday: “Set Standards by Noticing” (8–12 minutes)

What you do

·         Pick 2 people from last week who did something concrete.

·         Send two private, specific notes (simple, human language).

·         Optional: one short public recognition (only if it fits the person).

Authentic scripts (choose one)

SBI (Situation–Behavior–Impact):

“On [situation], you did [behavior].  It led to [Impact].  Thanks.”

Understated (high credibility):

“I noticed [behavior].  That made [Impact].  Good work.”

Example

“In Friday’s client follow-up, you wrote the next steps clearly and quickly.  That prevented confusion and kept momentum.  Thank you.”

Why Monday works: You’re setting the tone for what “good” looks like—without hype.

Day 2 — Tuesday: “Process Recognition” (6–10 minutes)

What you do

Recognize effort, judgment, preparation, or collaboration—the invisible work that creates outcomes.

What to look for (authentic targets)

• Prevented a problem (risk spotted, mistake avoided)
• Helped someone succeed
• Prepared thoroughly
• Stayed calm under pressure
• Took ownership without being asked

Authentic scripts

“I want to reinforce the way you handled [process].  It saved us [Impact].”

“That was good judgment—especially when you [behavior].  It mattered because [Impact].”

Example

“You flagged the contract mismatch before it went out.  That likely saved us a messy back-and-forth.  Great catch.”

Day 3 — Wednesday: “Visibility Without Performative Praise” (5–8 minutes)

What you do

Give 1 public shout-out only when:

• The person is comfortable with public recognition, and
• The behavior reflects a standard worth broadcasting.

The 20-second format

“Quick recognition: [Name] did [behavior] in [situation], which resulted in [Impact].  That’s a standard we should repeat.”

Example

“Quick recognition: Maya pulled together the client’s concerns into three clear decisions.  That kept us from circling and got alignment in one meeting.  That’s a standard we should repeat.”

Authenticity guardrail: If you can’t say it in 20 seconds, it may be too vague—or too performative.

Day 4 — Thursday: “Peer Recognition—But Keep It Real” (8–12 minutes), what do you do

Invite peers to recognize each other, but require specificity so it doesn’t become fluff.

Prompt (Teams/Slack or in a meeting)

“Shout out someone who helped you this week—what they did and why it mattered (one sentence each).”

Your role (leader)

Pick 1–2 peer shout-outs and add a credibility boost:

“Co-signing this.  The reason this matters is [Impact].  That’s the behavior we want more of.”

Authenticity win: Peer recognition reduces the sense that praise is “top-down performance theater.”

Day 5 — Friday: “Purpose + Progress (No Pep Talks)” (10–15 minutes)

What you do

·         Send one purpose-linked recognition (mission/values/customer Impact).

·         Close the week with a 3-bullet recap focused on reality, not cheerleading.

Purpose recognition script

“What you did—[behavior]—had a real effect on [customer/team].  That’s what we mean by [value/mission].  Thank you.”

Friday recap (3 bullets)

• One win: (fact-based)
• One behavior that created it: (repeatable)
• One lesson: (what we’ll do next week)

Example recap

• Win: Reduced ticket backlog by 18%.
• Behavior: Clear triage + fast handoffs.
• Lesson: Keep the daily 10-minute triage—works.

Day 6 — Saturday (Optional): “Roster Check—Prevent Invisibility” (5 minutes)

What you do

Scan your roster: who hasn’t been noticed in 6–7 days?
Send one short, valid note—no fanfare.

Two-sentence authentic note

“I noticed [behavior].  It helped [Impact].  Thank you.”

If you honestly didn’t observe anything, use a supportive check-in instead:

“I want to make sure you have what you need for next week.  Any blockers I can remove?”

Day 7 — Sunday: “Plan Noticing, Not Compliments” (5–8 minutes)

What you do

Write down:

• 3 names to observe next week
• 1 thing each person is working on
• A reminder: “Notice one concrete contribution.”

This keeps recognition grounded in real work, not random positivity.

The “Authentic Recognition Bank” (Makes This Effortless)

Create one note titled: Recognition Bank.
Whenever you see something real, jot a fragment:

• “Stayed calm with upset client—kept relationship intact.”
• “Built a clear one-page summary—made the decision easy.”
• “Helped new hire navigate system—saved time.”
• “Caught risk early—prevented rework.”

Then, when it’s time to recognize someone, you’re pulling from observed truth, not inventing praise on schedule.

Language to Avoid (Because It Sounds Fake)

Replace these with specifics:

• “Kudos!” → “You did X; it caused Y.”
• “Crushed it!” → “That was strong because…”
• “Amazing!” → “That was good judgment because…”
• “Appreciate you!” → “Appreciate you doing [behavior].  It helped [Impact].”

Micro‑Templates (Authentic, Non‑Cheesy)

Use these when you want to sound like a real leader, not a poster:

1) Noticed + Impact

“I noticed [behavior].  It helped [Impact].  Thanks.”

 2) Reinforce the Standard

“That [behavior] is the standard we should repeat.”

 3) Quiet credibility

“Good call on [behavior].  That saved [Impact].”

 4) Purpose tie (no fluff)

“That had a real effect on [customer/team].  That’s [value].”

Ultra‑Light Tracking (So It Doesn’t Become Bureaucracy)

Keep a single line per recognition:

Name — date — private/public — behavior — Impact

Maya — Wed — public — clarified decisions — avoided spinning

Jose — Tue — private — caught mismatch — prevented rework

Rule: If it takes more than 30 seconds to log, don’t log it.