Dan J. Harkey

Educator & Private Money Lending Consultant

The more we learn about the habits of others, the more effective we will become in our personal and business lives

There is great value in determining who to associate with and who to avoid: Some relationships are better left alone

by Dan J. Harkey

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Summary:

We are defined by those with whom we closely associate

We navigate a world filled with diverse personalities with different motivations

Some are kindred, some appear void of reasoning and thought, some are provocative, and some are adverse

This rich tapestry of attitudes and behaviors keeps life exciting and full of surprises.

Understanding and adapting to different personality types is a crucial skill in navigating our social world.

Article:

As we grow up, we develop attitudes, ideas, preferences, and biases to form a value system- a frame of reference. These values are learned through family, education, culture, and compulsion. Yes, I said compulsion. Our learning includes the government's compulsory actions (through government schools and agencies) that force us to do things, take actions, or constrain us. Examples include posted speed limits, paying taxes, not gambling in private homes, not conducting religious services in private homes without a business permit, and not engaging in any business activity without registering and obtaining temporary permission through a permit process, and of course, paying a fee. Limiting our every activity through bureaucratic regulations is a compulsion that requires recurring payments for temporary privileges.

Personal growth continually develops our value system- our frame of reference. We establish a set of criteria to guide our interpretations and judgments, form opinions, and shape our value system. This frame of reference, which is not just a personal construct, is significantly influenced by external forces, including our associations with others. It's like a mental filter that shapes how we perceive and respond to the world around us. For instance, if we grow up in a culture that values individualism, we may develop a frame of reference emphasizing personal freedom and self-expression. Understanding this concept is a vital part of our personal growth and introspection.

Our interactions with diverse personalities, ranging from family and friends to advisors, teachers, and various institutions, play a significant role in shaping our values, habits, and biases. This diversity enriches our lives and broadens our perspectives, allowing us to appreciate the richness of the human experience. It's through these interactions that we gain a deeper understanding of the world and our place in it.

Understanding the close relationship between our attitudes and actions is not just enlightening but also empowering. It puts us in the driver's seat, enabling us to actively shape our behavior patterns positively. By maintaining a positive outlook and associating with equally positive individuals, we can steer our lives in the direction we desire, fostering a sense of control and capability.

Here are a few personality types that we encounter every day. Different personality types may accept and adapt to life and its challenges optimistically, passively, without reasoning, or pessimistically. We may occasionally fall into more than one category.

The Dynamo - independent, hard-charged, self-sufficient, accountable, non-conformist, and confident:

I know what I want in my life and will openly confront obstacles. As always, I wake up daily, have coffee, read for an hour, and look forward to a successful day with new and dynamic challenges. I expect setbacks, failures, and many successes.

I press forward, confronting all barriers, as I always do. I tune out the drumbeat of mainstream media's biased attempts to upset me and take control of my mind. I also tune out the government propaganda machine and its provocative censorship-industrial complex. I will not allow myself to be affected by the wrong think ever-present policing plot designed to wear me down into submission and conformity.

I maintain a positive attitude. Based on what I have learned and internalized, my world is defined by family, health, language, borders, culture, individual accountability, and self-sufficiency. I am an optimist, a risk-taker, and a visionary. I will accept setbacks, but only temporarily. I will spring back to new heights beyond all imagination. No rigged system with negativity, control, indoctrination, implied subordination, or metaphysical experiment shall modify my goals and accomplishments. My inner strength nurtures and sustains what I have learned.

The process and the actions create happiness, not necessarily the results. Understanding this concept is crucial, as it can lead to the intended results. By finding joy within the process, we can maintain a positive attitude and stay motivated, ultimately leading to successful outcomes. This emphasis on the joy of the journey can instill a sense of hope and motivation in the audience, reminding them that the path to personal growth is filled with opportunities for happiness and fulfillment.

I am both an original and a critical thinker. My original thinking skills make me a non-conformist because I form opinions and ideas and take action to champion them. I speak up and have the courage to be creative and make a difference in the world. I am a critical thinker because I question the hypothesis and validity of every event and action. I use observation, research, analysis, reflection, reasoning, and verification to form beliefs and actions. I have no compulsion to engage in groupthink, where groups of individuals reach a consensus without critical reasoning or evaluation of the consequences or alternatives. I remain ever-present in the public forum.

Original thinking, critical thinking, and tenacity are not just my driving forces but the keys to a thoughtful and engaged life.

I encourage others to develop a positive mindset and confidence to become dynamic. I associate this with kindred spirits, no disrespect intended, just a personal preference. Associating with dynamic and positive people reinforces my attitudes, enhances my performance, and contributes to the happiness and success in my life, as well as in my chosen professional field. It serves as a powerful reminder that maintaining a positive attitude and surrounding oneself with positive individuals can lead to successful outcomes.

The Geek, Non-Conformist, Eccentric is a non-mainstream person who may be an expert, enthusiast, or obsessed with a career, hobby, unique idea, or intellectual pursuit.

I am considered peculiar, overtly intellectual, unfashionable, or socially awkward. What, are you still here? Just leave me alone. I am uninterested. I have little interest in participating in anything other than my interests and agenda. When I wake up, I always know the day will be about them and what they have to do. I have many online friends, and that keeps them happy and engaged. Other than that, I want to be left alone. Please refrain from attempting to engage me in conversations or directing me toward a subject I am not interested in. I am comfortable with myself and my internalized subjects only. Everything else is irrelevant.

The entitled, the selfish, the jealous, and the envious of others' successes; the parasite, the lazy person, superficial, devoid of reason:

I wake up and have my coffee. My priority is to turn on the television news to stay informed about what's happening in the world around me today. I will watch Fox, MSNBC, CNN, NBC, and ABC. I wait to be led and enlightened by people who are much more intelligent than I am. Smart people in the mainstream media and the government are there to inform me about what is essential and what I should focus on. Their delivery of pertinent information will enlighten me about what is in my best interest. I will quickly learn about everything I should be aware of to reinforce my belief system.

I will become upset if the news or conversations with others contradict my belief system. Getting upset makes me a participant! I can discuss these issues with my friends, who, naturally, share kindred minds. My friends and I reinforce each other. Be damned those who are not smart enough to accept all the elements of my beliefs and opinions.

A lazy person may secure a job, but they need to develop their performance and skills further. The attitude is process-driven rather than results-driven. Lazy people couldn't care less if the employer expects results in the performance of daily tasks.

I am resentful and usually develop a dislike for another who has something I desire. Jealousy is similar, but the degree of emotion, including hostility, is more significant. I have thoughts or feelings of suspicion, insecurity, fear, concern, anger, and resentment.

I live in a state of comfortable schadenfreude, deriving pleasure from others' misfortunes.

Jealousy and envy are cancer. If given a chance, it will spread to encompass other relationships.

Maybe I will refuse to stand for the Pledge of Allegiance. Perhaps I will engage in some demonstration or join a criminal gang to get more power and free stuff because criminal activities are now encouraged by the government.

The problem with having this person in your life is that their feelings toward you are rarely expressed. They may be around you as friends, business associates, or acquaintances, and appear supportive. But they hate every success that you experience. They are sycophants.

These people are destructive in personal and organizational relationships.

The worrywart- something is always wrong or not correct- every thought is filtered through a negative frame of reference:

I could accomplish more if I didn't have all these things to worry about. I worry about things that I can control and those that I cannot.

Remember Eeyore, the little gray donkey in Winnie the Pooh? Good morning, Pooh Bear; if it is a good morning, which I doubt, why does it matter? We can focus on creating worry and consternation. We can organize our days with feelings of fear, anxiety, dismay, panic, and passivity.

Here are a few things in my worry basket: It may be empty, half-full, or full.

The massive volcano in Yellowstone National Park has the potential to blow up and alter the geography of the entire United States. If any remain, this could have enormous implications for humanity.

Global warming, or climate change, will affect how we desire to live.

International predators, such as Iran, Venezuela, Russia, and China, are going to take advantage of us or attempt to eliminate us. There are bogeymen everywhere. There may even be bogeywomen if you inject some politics into the U.S.

There could be a massive electromagnetic pulse (EMP) created by exploding a thermonuclear hydrogen bomb about 5 miles above the Earth's surface. That may eliminate my internet connection, cell phone access, automobile electronics, and access to electrical outlets. Or even worse, a nuclear EMP creates even more widespread damage.

The grocery stores may be empty before I arrive in an emergency. The lines for emergency services for groceries and gas stations may be prohibitive. Where can I get a beer? If I locate it, I may need to drink it at room temperature.

Municipal water storage tanks and sewer pumping stations. What will happen to my refrigerator full of beer or the beer pump at my favorite Pub? In-and-out Burger could be without electricity and natural gas to grill those tasty burgers. All products, goods, and services that originate with electricity would cease. Few companies or private parties have backup electrical generators.

The chronic complainer, the rationalizer, and the whiner are suffering from excuses:

I know that the world is cruel. It seems that only the wicked and dishonest get ahead. I always seem to be wallowing in the cruel part. I cannot understand how everything seems so unfair. My poor performance or lack of action is not my fault.

They enjoy bonding over mutual hatred and petty grievances. They are best at criticizing and condemning. They seem to use every opportunity to turn conversations into something negative. Nothing is ever good or even acceptable. Something always needs to be fixed. However, they never suggest a concrete, rational answer or improvement. They attempt to draw from some reasoning or logical foundation to justify their beliefs. They rationalize and project the cause of their problems onto others around them.

The checked-out, the outlier, the passive, the feeling of alienation from society, exhausted by disappointing interaction with others, prefer to be alone:

I am exhausted by the conflicts, hostilities, polarization, and ill will of humanity. Constantly manufactured garbage from mainstream media and the government apparatus has caused me to choose to be isolated. I am tired of continuous fake, manufactured crises, cancel culture, phony climate hysteria, and foreign invasion of illegals designed to ensure the status quo of the super-rich and governing elites, all while the representation of the people is nowhere to be seen.

All state-plotted takeovers represent more government, more rules and regulations, the destruction of private property and rights, phony pandemics, killer vaccines, and militarized police states that have destroyed our will to be free. Uncontrolled immigration explosion, expansion of welfare, free schooling, free housing, free credit cards, and accessible health care are all part of the expansionist government and rule by tyranny. The America we grew up in --the America we know as the Beautiful --no longer exists. It has degenerated into America, the collectivist shit hole.

Mark Twain said, The more I am around people, the more I like my dog. I have become a crusty, ill-tempered, and cantankerous loner. Societal frauds against the people have turned me into a tired old curmudgeon.

The sociopath, narcissist, incorrigible, and pathological Liar:

These folks exist and live all around us. Some are neighbors, coworkers, friends, family members, acquaintances, and leaders. Some run highly successful businesses, and some hide behind the pulpit while preaching and conducting worship services. Some are high-ranking politicians and unelected career bureaucrats. Their goal is to dominate others to gain a sense of power and control.

Sociopaths are usually highly social, lack empathy for others, attempt to control others, make threats, show aggression, use their intelligence, manipulate, charm, show charisma, lie for personal gain, and use violence if necessary. They have little regard for lasting friendships because everyone in the universe around them is their target victim, and they are very comfortable being isolated.

They will also play the system for personal gain. It is estimated that 4.5% of the U.S. population is sociopathic. I think the estimate is closer to 20% or more. Society has degenerated to the condition where such deviant behavior has little or no consequence.

Psychopathic behavior is accelerating to the point of societal collapse. It exists from the top levels of government, through the three lettered agencies (CIA, FBI, NSA, DOD, etc.), the institutions such as education and law, the useless eaters, down to the criminal gangs on the streets who disregard all values, customs, cultures, and regulations in pursuit of violence and destruction.

Sociopathic political operatives and ideological activists organize preplanned riots, engage in a powerful propaganda system (mind-controlled dystopia), cancel objectors, weaponize the government against the people, and prosecute those who object. The dissemination of disinformation is a powerful tool. They encourage criminal gangs and looters, smash-and-grab thefts, and violent demonstrations in the quest to destroy the political system and get free stuff.

Violet behavior has little consequence in the world of collectivist psychopaths. They know they will be there to pick up the broken pieces and be awarded contracts to rebuild, lining their pockets with massive profits. Deaths, destruction, and mayhem are just meaningless byproducts of the process.

Suppose the government sanctions violent behavior for political gain, and corporations benefit from the profits made in the reconstruction efforts. In that case, society will continue to spiral downward.

When plunder [and dispossession] becomes a way of life for a group of men in a society, over time, they create for themselves a legal system that authorizes it and a moral code that glorifies it.

Fr d ric Bastiat- French economist and writer- June 30, 1801, to December 24, 1850.

Pathological liars use habitual lying as a form of manipulation and deflection. They will rationalize the lies as valid to get what they want from others. They show no remorse and assume that others are unaware of their lying. Studies by the National Institute of Health suggest that 10% to 13% of the U.S. population falls into this category.

The conversation about pathological liars in government and mainstream media is very similar to the discussion about psychopathic behavior: segregated interest groups and large corporations control everything in government and mainstream media. The government and the mainstream media, as their lapdog, lie about everything. Both must pursue power, access, and the destruction of their opponents. Companies, cartels, labor unions, trade associations, government agencies, influential institutions, industrial empires (such as the military-industrial complex, big pharma, the welfare system, and big agriculture), and organizations utilize their 11,650 registered lobbyists to expand their interests and gain preference by any means necessary. It's all about money, power, and control of the mining industry.

The public has woken up to massive corruption in government; the truth is false, false is truth, good is evil, and evil is good. For 100 years, news was dominated by a few monopolistic media corporations. The mainstream media has woken up to the new reality that they have lost control of the narrative. Today, readers have many alternative sources to get the truth and facts. Government shenanigans are readily apparent and easily accessible in alternative sources. Mainstream media is hemorrhaging financial losses by the hundreds of millions with no end in sight. Their status quo is being threatened, and they are fighting back, but they are losing the battle. It is a beautiful day in the neighborhood.

Who do you want to associate with?

Individuals may fit into one or more of these attitude and behavior buckets. We may fit into one or more ourselves. Let me ask a few simple questions:

Which one do you want to go to dinner with, drink with, and socialize with for the evening?

Which one do you want to engage in a heated back-and-forth debate about the best president, leader, or direction for the economy?

Which one do you want to invite into your mentor group who will serve as your support person and develop a complete understanding of you and what you are about, with the full knowledge that the purpose is to be your guide in accomplishing your goals?

Which one will listen attentively, passionately, and focus on you as you lay out your strategy and agenda in your pursuit of success?

Which will give the most vital, direct, constructive feedback to help you accomplish your goals?

For the above questions, if you are invited to become their mentor and support person, which personality would they prefer?

Which of the above personalities do you want your son or daughter to bring home, introduce to you, and express that they are engaged in a serious relationship?

Lastly, which category does each of your close friends fit into? Now, do the same exercise for yourself. Which personality do you possess? Even though we may have a dominant trait within the categories above, there will occasionally be spillover characteristics in other personality types.

We interact with all these personality types in our lives and our businesses. They are ever-present. Whether family, neighbors, friends, acquaintances, relatives, business associates, or prospects exist and need to be addressed. Treating them with tolerance, dignity, and respect may be challenging, but that makes us great.

We cannot systematically eliminate all personality types that do not fit our preferences. We must work closely with them daily to achieve our personal and financial goals. Identifying one's personality type allows us to deal more effectively with them in productive pursuits.