Welcome to the fictional State of Pacific (otherwise known as California), where good intentions pile up faster than paperwork—and where even a joke can trigger a regulatory review.

Pacifica (California) is considering a tax on “Critical Thinking.” Groupthink is only allowed.

As Franz Kafka warned long ago:

“Every revolution evaporates and leaves behind only the slime of a new bureaucracy.”

Pacifica did not set out to be absurd.  It sets out to be fair, and in the pursuit of perfect fairness, it accidentally perfected something else entirely.

When Equality Requires a Flowchart

Pacifica believes deeply in equality—so deeply that it has nearly regulated humor out of existence.

In Pacifica, every activity must be made fair, safe, equitable, sustainable, and emotionally non‑offensive—preferably before breakfast.

What follows is not critical. It is an observation.

The Operating Philosophy of Pacifica Governance

Pacifica’s government operates on three sacred assumptions:

• If something exists, it should be regulated

• If it works, it should be taxed

• If it fails, it needs more funding

• Accidental Truths have been mostly regulated or outlawed entirely. 

Economist Milton Friedman summarized this dynamic succinctly:

“One of the great mistakes is to judge policies and programs by their intentions rather than their results.”

Pacifica judges only intentions.  Results are still under review.

25 Things the State of Pacifica Is “Currently Considering.”

(All examples are fictional.  Any resemblance to reality is purely… inconvenient.)

1   Regulating Snipe Hunts

Pacifica’s Department of Wildlife Fairness is reviewing whether fictional animals require real permits—just in case someone believes it is too hard.

 2 .  Reparations for Professional Squatters

After all, occupying property is a form of emotional labor.

3. Outlawing Grunion Runs

Fish gathering without permits creates inequitable shoreline joy.

4. Mileage Taxes on Productive Citizens

Pacifica prefers movement without momentum.

5. Guaranteed Raises for Monopoly Public Employees

Competition is stressful.  Security is equitable  

6. Efficiency Reviews with No Efficiency Metrics

Outcomes are exclusively

7. Restricting Freedom—Because It’s Unevenly Distributed

Some people enjoy it more than others. We must outlaw this.

8.  Mandatory Feelings Impact Statements

Before any decision, joke, or facial expression.

9   Permits for Rainwater

Clouds are public assets.

10.  A Task Force on Task Forces

To ensure adequate overlap.

Why This Keeps Happening

Bold truths for busy readers:

• Complex systems reward expansion, not solutions
• Bureaucracies grow to justify themselves
• Failure increases funding
• Success creates new regulations

British historian C. Northcote Parkinson nailed it in 1955:

“Work expands to fill the time available for its completion.”

In Pacifica, regulation expands to fill the problem it created.

More Stupid Things Under “Serious Consideration”

11.  A Housing Crisis Solution That Builds No Housing

But produces excellent reports.

12   A Commission to Study Why Businesses Are Leaving

Remote meetings only; productive members are excluded.

  3.  A Tax on Unused Potential

Especially yours.

14. Banning Common Sense

It lacks peer review.

15. Mandated Equity in Line-Cutting

Waiting should be shared.

16. Subsidies for Failing Ideas

Failure proves commitment.

17. Banning Plastic Bags, Selling Plastic Everything Else

Consistency is overrated.

18.  Renaming Problems Instead of Fixing Them

Language is policy.

Humor Is the Canary in the Regulatory Coal Mine

Satire survives where truth is constrained.
Pacifica’s greatest achievement may be turning comedy into dissent.

George Orwell understood this well:

“Every joke is a tiny revolution.”

Which explains why Pacifica is reviewing jokes.

The Final Seven ( Quick, Because The Committee Contacts Me With A Cease and Desist Order)

19   A Department of Redundancy

To ensure nothing slips through twice.

20.  Mandatory Training on Voluntary Compliance

Attendance required.

 21.  Fines for Self‑Reliance

It undermines collective solutions.  Reindoctrination camps are set up to reeducate for egalitarianism.  Everything must be equal.

22. Universal Permission Slips

Adults included.  An application, a bureaucracy, an approval process, and a fee for every action contemplated.

23. Sunset Clauses That Never Set

Because sunsets are unpredictable.

24. Public Comment Periods After Decisions Are Made

Participation matters.

25. A Happiness Index That Ignores Cost of Living

Smiles are free.  Happiness is a forced emotion when in public.

Quote‑Ready Truths

• “Pacifica doesn’t regulate behavior—it regulates outcomes until behavior disappears.”
• “Equality pursued without limits produces uniform frustration.”
• “In Pacifica, the road to hell isn’t paved—it’s zoned.”

Conclusion: When Intentions Become Institutions

Pacifica is not malicious.  It is meticulous.

It does not hate freedom—it just prefers it supervised.

As H.L. Mencken once wrote:

“The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule it.”

Pacifica doesn’t rule.
It manages with authority.

And somewhere, deep in a filing cabinet, is a permit application for common sense—still awaiting approval.