Caution: If you read this, you may have a few laughs outside the realm of experiential observations and rational thinking. But hey, who needs rational thinking when you can have a good chuckle at the absurdity of it all?

Article:

There are various signs celebrating individual successes for the first couple of miles entering the town of Successville.

Congratulations on your successes.

You worked harder than others, and you deserve a better quality of life.

You are one of a kind and possess a unique skill that sets you apart from others.

The community is proud of you and wants to cheer you on to even greater heights.

The community looks forward to you commanding greater heights of success and taking us with you.

Dear friend, we stand behind you, support you, and cheer your successes.

The neighborhood adores you. Good luck, great friend.

Warnings and Caution: A short list of messaging with negative connotations dominates our societal public notices, often overshadowing the positive aspects of life. But let's be honest, who doesn't find it a bit ridiculous that we need a sign to tell us not to pee in the pool fountain?

In other towns, particularly in California, all public announcements are made as cautions and warnings.

Have you ever stopped to consider the sheer volume of warnings and cautionary messaging that bombard us daily? It's enough to make you wonder if we're living in a world of constant peril. Wonder no further!

Do not, under any circumstances, attempt to climb this ladder after consuming significant volumes of alcohol. It's a recipe for disaster, or at the very least, subject for a hilarious YouTube video. Because, you know, climbing a ladder is already a risky business, but add alcohol to the mix and you've got yourself a potential viral sensation.

Do not handle electrical devices while taking a sauna bath or swimming in the pool.

Do not pump gas while smoking a cigarette, lighting a match, flicking your lighter, or using an acetylene blow torch.

Do not enter: Do not exit; One way only; Right turn only; left turn only; slow down.

You can enter at your own risk.

Do not stand, sit, climb, or lean on zoo fences. If you fall in, the animals may eat you.

Please don't try to get close to the buffalo in Yellowstone state park.

Caution: Water on the road during rain.

Caution: Slippery when wet.

Please be aware that you should not use the elevator during a fire or earthquake.

Caution: Do not pee or poop in the pool fountain.

Caution: Do not pet jellyfish, sharks, buffalo, or rattlesnakes.

Do not assume that all small animals are friendly.

Warning: Loud pipes will be enforced. This warning is real in Laguna Niguel, California. The way I interpret this is that I must have loud pipes or I will face consequences, including a ticket or arrest.

Here are the kinds of cautions and warnings you would like to see:

Be skeptical of government actions: Your government may be up to no good.

Warning: Do not trust mainstream media without critically analyzing their propaganda to determine if their bullshit may be real and absolute.

Warning: Watch out for propaganda, gaslighting, and subliminal suggestions to get you to believe someone else's crap.

Warning: You are exposed to 7,500 advertisements every day. That's right, 7,500! Do not attempt to buy all the gadgets, services, and stuff unless you have 20,000 credit cards in someone else's name, like the government employees enjoy. Because, let's face it, who wouldn't want to be in debt up to their eyeballs for the latest smartphone or designer handbag (at least 10 of each)?

I hope you enjoyed this short deviation from reality.

Speed up and enjoy the ride on this satirical journey through Successville, where success is celebrated and warnings are a way of life.